i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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