Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
