I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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