I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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