She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize