I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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