Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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