Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
