I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
