his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
