Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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