No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
