i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Nobody cheats on THIS.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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