That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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