i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
