I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
