This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
