It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize