the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
