I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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