i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize