hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize