White coat. Heels.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize