what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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