it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
