Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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