I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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