I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't deserve a penis
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
