i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
