I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize