Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
