Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
