I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
