I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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