Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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