i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
