It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
