she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
