Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
