I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Define "chronic" masturbator.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize