I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
