I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
