It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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