Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
