He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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