If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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