Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
