After last night, I could never be a politician.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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