Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
