I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
