his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
