HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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