Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
