Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
