Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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