Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
why do cheetos always look like penises
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
