they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
