He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
