walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
