I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
