yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
