nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
