he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
