I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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