so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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