as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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