omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
