so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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