I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize