i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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