but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How's work?
Spinning.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
