i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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