Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
