So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
