Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize
