My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
