I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
